Even in this highly enlightened century, there are still some issues when it comes to being gay that crop up from time to time. Most gay people are living openly and happily rather than stuffed firmly in the closet as used to be the norm years ago.
There are still many that come from repressed families, and these people don’t feel comfortable being who they are for fear of being disowned or embarrassing their families. Happily, that’s changing more every day. However, there’s a very real issue that many gay people have to deal with at least once in their lifetime. That issue is when they happen to fall in love with a steadfastly straight person.
This is a very painful situation that happens more than you would think. Typically, it begins as a friendship that grows into a very close friendship. At some point, those feelings start to grow even more, and before you know it, you’ve fallen in love with someone that’s not ever going to love you back the way you want and need.
What do you do? Is it a good idea to confess your feelings and take your chances? Do you just withdraw from this person in the hopes that your feelings will either go away or at least get under control?
First of all, if you’re pretty sure that your friend can handle the news that your feelings have taken a turn for the more emotional, it’s perfectly fine to confess them. Your friend will most likely be highly flattered even if they cannot return your feelings.
On the other hand, if your friend likes things the way they are and isn’t really evolved enough to accept that you want to give the gift of your love, it’s probably better to keep it to yourself.
Unless it becomes too painful to be around your friend, it’s a better idea not to withdraw from the friendship. The fastest way for suspicion to arise is by suddenly never wanting to be around your friend. He, or she, will immediately begin to think something is wrong. There will be questions that you may have trouble answering.
If the feelings you have become too painful and hard to manage around your friend, it is definitely time to come clean whether your friend is ready to hear it or not. When it gets to that point, prepare yourself ahead of time for all outcomes.
While the negative ones will most certainly hurt, at least you’ll be ready for them if they come. You may also find that your friend accepts your feelings but is more interested in helping you find another person to share them with. That’s not a totally bad outcome because you still get to keep your friend.
The bottom line is that, typically, if you find yourself falling in love with your straight best friend, do all you can to keep that from happening. Deliberately place yourself in settings where you can meet more gay people that may interest you. This can circumvent a lot of future pain for you as well as save your friendship.