When a relationship ends, sometimes one of the partners doesn’t want it to be over. If it’s not a mutual decision, the partner that didn’t want things to end may be spending every waking moment trying to figure out how to get the ex back again.
If you’re that partner, you’re probably doing a lot of scheming, crying, begging and praying to the Powers That Be for your ex to come running back to you, having suddenly decided that he or she cannot live without you.
Before you get depressed to the point of losing your mind, take a deep breath and try to think about things clearly for a moment. To begin with, look at things realistically. That means taking off those rose colored glasses that seem to slip into place whenever you think about your ex and those wonderful times you had together. If you can actually see the past in an honest light, it may be so much easier to just let things go and move forward in your life.
Think about the reason for the breakup. Was your partner cheating on you with someone else? Had your partner found someone else he or she wanted to be with and was no longer in love with you? Did you have a terrible argument over something that ended things, and if so, what was the argument about?
Seriously and realistically look how your relationship was when the two of you were together. Don’t sugar coat anything, because no relationship is ever 100 percent perfect.
When you can consider the type of relationship you had with your ex from a realistic point of view, that’s the time to decide if getting back with her, or him, is something you actually want to do. Reaching the stage where you can honestly answer this question may take a bit of time.
Don’t expect it to be an honest answer within a day or week, or even a month. You’ll know when you’ve reached the level where you can evaluate the reality of your relationship and decide if it was even a positive force in your life.
Make yourself remember the not so wonderful moments in your relationship where you experienced a great deal of pain from something your ex was responsible for. Dissect your relationship piece by piece. At the end of your recall, you may decide that this person was most likely not the one for you to spend a lifetime with.
You’re never going to reach an honest conclusion about this or any other aspect of your past relationship and your ex as long as you’re viewing it as a Cinderella story.
When it comes down to it, there had to have been some issue in your relationship, and/or with your ex, if it all ended. Good and happy relationships don’t just end. If you can pinpoint the problem, you stand a much better chance of not repeating it. After considering everything, if you still want your ex back, it’s time to put some plans into action to accomplish that.