Ignoring Outside Influences

As long as there has been dating and relationships, there have been people outside of the relationships who have tried to influence one or the other partner regarding the relationship. These outside influences can come from parents, siblings, grandparents or best friends.

The reasons for the attempt at influencing the direction of the relationships vary quite a bit. Some make sense and others are just unhappy, controlling people who want to ruin a good thing.

One of the most common examples of outside influences may be something you’ve already experienced in your life. It usually involves having met someone you truly care about. In fact, you may even feel that this person may be The One. So, of course, you want your parents to meet the object of your affection.

However, the meeting does not quite go as planned. Either one or both parents dislike your intended on sight. They may make this obvious right away or pretend that everything is fine until they get you alone to voice their objections.

Now, since these are your parents, you’re going to want to hear what they have to say. A lot of times, they’ll be right in their concerns. Just as many times, though, they’re just trying to control your life for reasons of their own. Only you can decide how you feel regarding their objections.

While it’s difficult to argue with your parents over a relationship, you may find that a close friend can be just as difficult. If this is your very best friend in the world, and has been a part of your life for as long as you can remember, you’re going to want this friend’s approval. Something else you should also expect to get is their best wishes. Yet, when you introduce two of the most important people in your life, you’re amazed at how your friend reacts.

This can be easily explained by jealousy on the part of your friend. If this friend feels threatened in any way by your new relationship, you can fully expect some objections to your new love. Your friend may fear that you’ll never have time for her or him now. Maybe your friend doesn’t have anyone to be with so this may be a bit about jealousy. A lot of people just don’t like change, and a budding serious relationship constitutes all sorts of changes.

Now, while you care deeply for your family and friends, you cannot let them make one of the most important decisions of your life for you. This is especially true if this person is someone you’re really in love with and feel you may have a future with.

The bottom line is that once you’ve heard them out and registered their concerns, if you don’t see any signs of what they’re claiming, you must make up your own mind about how you feel. In the face of proof for their claims, you may want to re-think things. However, if you’re feeling that the accusations aren’t real, you should make the best decision for yourself.