Love or Lust?

When you get involved with someone it is often hard to tell in the beginning if you are infatuated with them or if you are in fact falling in love with them. One reason this is so difficult to discern is because many of the signs of love and infatuation are pretty close to the same. It is not until some time has passed that you can really tell the difference and by then it is often too late to do much about it.

When you first meet a person you may feel drawn to that person. This is often defined as being attracted to someone. The more you talk to this person the more drawn you feel making you want to spend more time with them. The more time you spend together the stronger this connection becomes. This is where you have to be careful because things can get kind of confusing at this point.

At this point you may find that you have trouble going to sleep at night or you are not really interested in eating much. For that matter very few things interest you if they do not involve the person that you have suddenly found yourself so attracted to. While this is technically referred to as being lovesick this does not necessarily mean that you are in love. When you reach this stage you often find yourself jumping when the phone rings hoping it is your ‘other half’ and feeling huge disappointment when you discover that it isn’t. This too is normal in new relationships and doesn’t really give you a definitive answer either way on whether it is love or lust.

During this time you find yourself forever checking your appearance making sure everything is perfect when you know you are going to see this other person. When you are at this stage of a relationship you think everything about each other is perfect and the conversation never stops. You never get tired of spending time together and find that you just can’t seem to keep your hands to yourselves.

Even at this point it is often difficult to tell the difference between true love and lust. But after a couple of months the answers begin to become a little clearer. It is at this time that the ‘new’ begins to wear off of the relationship. You begin to notice that you can tolerate being apart more than before. This does not necessarily mean that you are not in love but it does mean that the relationship is not as intense as it was in the beginning.

Now is when you will start to be able to tell the difference between love and lust. If your relationship has progressed to this point yet you still want to spend time with each other this is a good sign that it might be more than just a fleeting infatuation. The important thing is that you allow the relationship to get to this point before getting carried away to the point that you are already making wedding plans. Don’t rush it and let the relationship flourish naturally before you make any long term commitments.