Too many people allow themselves to stay in relationships that are clearly bad for them simply to keep from being alone. It never occurs to most of them that there are worse things than living life alone. Many of these abusive relationships become deadly, and being alone is certainly better than being dead. Anytime things reach this level, there’s an investigation, and this investigation typically leads to the finding that there were definitely signs that things were going to turn bad.
The problem is that most men don’t start out appearing to be abusive. They are most likely total charmers. These men will be among the most romantic that any woman ever met. Outsiders looking in will always be stunned in the end because these couples always looked so happy and so much in love. Most likely they DID appear that way in public because the women would never take the chance of angering their men.
There ARE ways to tell if you’re heading down a dangerous road, though. Usually, there are a few signals that will alert you to pay closer attention, and you will if you’re not already so in love that you’re blind. If your new man is not thrilled with you hanging out with your friends, it should set off a slight alarm. A possessive and controlling man will gradually isolate you from your friends as well as your family. He’ll be very careful about how he does this because he doesn’t want you to become suspicious.
A man who is going to be prone to violence will usually start showing some temper tantrums early on. While you may not view them as violent at the time, they should be taken seriously if they happen often and for silly reasons. Constant overreactions are definitely signs to be examined more closely.
If you really want to stay safe, make it a non-breakable rule that you will NEVER let a man hit you. Stick to this one even if he never hit you before and he is contrite and promises to never do it again. If a man hits you once, he will do it again if you give the chance. Also, keep in mind that a man who hits you does not love you. Hitting is not a token of affection.
While there may be instances where this is totally out of character and there were extenuating circumstances, it should still be handled very carefully. A temporary separation is necessary as well as some sessions with a counselor. This cannot be taken lightly and let go of in the same vein. It must be dealt with seriously and immediately if you’re still determined to stay with this man. There must also be a guarantee that such behavior will NOT happen again. In the event that it does, there are no third chances.
You can watch for the signs that will tell you the man you love may be dangerous and this may keep you safe. Most importantly, always pay attention to your intuition. This is what will tell you that you’re in trouble. Always listen.