So you’re gearing up for that first date with someone you’ve admired from afar for a while now, or you’re getting ready to meet someone that you’ve been chatting with online. Either way, your enthusiasm is running high because you are thrilled to be finally on your way to connecting with someone that may possibly turn out to be the love of your life. That enthusiasm may need to be toned down a notch or two if you think this just may be “the one.”
Being too eager can go a long way to stopping a budding relationship in its tracks before things even start to get off the ground. There are a couple of reasons that you can show a bit of excitement and, certainly, interest if you feel it, but should hold the temperature to simmer. If you’re someone that tends to treat each new person you meet or hook up with as that potential forever after relationship, that may be the reason that you’re still single and looking.
One of the biggest turn offs from someone that comes on as too eager is that “too eager” can translate easily into “desperate.” This shows possible relationship material that you’ve been at this game for a while and haven’t managed to land anyone yet. Therefore, you’re coming off as being desperate and clingy, which is not only unattractive, but can be downright frightening.
This type of attitude alerts the recipient of your frantic attention that they will most likely be totally smothered in a relationship with you. In fact, they may already be feeling that pillow over their head at the first meeting.
If you really want to capture and hold someone’s interest, it’s much better to appear friendly but calm. Whatever else you may do at that first meeting, do not gush. A constant stream of chatter can show that you’re either very nervous or very desperate that this person is going to slip through your fingers.
That’s not an impression that you want to convey to someone that you’ve only just met. It’s actually most likely not an impression you want to give anyone on any date.
Instead, keep your talking to what each of you likes and dislikes. Discuss hobbies and whatever other mildly personal things you and this person are willing to share with each other. This would be such things as whether or not there’s been a past marriage, recent breakup, or any children. Pertinent things that could affect any relationship that may come out of it are what you want to stick to.
It’s usually not a great idea to get too personal on the first date even though, chances are, you may have already talked about many such things if you’ve been communicating beforehand.
The last thing you want to do is seem as if you’re going to perform a flying tackle if this person tries to leave. Stay calm and interested to the right degree and you’ll stand a much better chance of finding your happily ever after.