Red Flags!

Picture this: After months of looking around and dating frogs that never turn into princes, you’ve finally found a guy that seems promising. He’s great looking, has a really funny sense of humor, wants to pay for your dates, and seems to want all the same things you do. Yet, the more time you spend with him, the more you start to worry about whether first impressions are always the truth.

There are a few red flags when it comes to dating that, if you pay attention to them, will let you know whether you need to run away fast or not.

  • I don’t usually drink this much. I’m just a little nervous at finally getting to go out with you. Well, that might be true. But as the evening goes on and he’s on his 10th drink yet seems to be stone cold sober, chances are he actually does drink this much, and does it on a regular basis. In order to still act sober after that many drinks, his system has to have built up quite an immunity to the effects of alcohol.
  • I live with my parents because they’re getting on in years and need me there to help out. Seriously? I suppose that might be true if he’s getting on years himself. Otherwise, he’s most likely still living with his parents because, just like Peter Pan, he doesn’t want to grow up. He’s not into paying his own bills or working a regular job because he needs to “relax” a lot. Basically, he’s lazy, irresponsible, and unmotivated. If he had a great job and made his own money, he could hire caretakers for his parents. You’ll just end up supporting him at some point if you get involved with this one.
  • I’m not paying child support! That witch I was married to will just spend it on herself and not on the kids! That may be true but it’s not really his responsibility to monitor her spending habits. If he really believes, or has proof, that she’s not spending the child support properly, he needs to be telling his attorney. His children need to know he’s a good, caring and responsible father, not a deadbeat that uses any excuse to not help support them. Is this the type of guy you want in your life?
  • My ex was a total witch and she’s the reason we got a divorce! The ex may have been a total witch but except in rare cases, it takes two to tango and two to break up a marriage. Why is he even talking about her to you anyway? He should be more interested in getting to know you. Consider that if he’s spending a lot of time badmouthing his ex, that if one of you moves on later, it will be you that he’ll be talking trash about. He’s never going to take responsibility for his actions. A continual victim gets really boring after a while.

Consider these red flags the next time you’re out on a date with a new guy. They may save you lots of future grief.