When Your Lover is a Slob

Everyone knows that in the beginning of a new relationship, everyone puts their best foot forward. You want this romantic prospect to think highly of you so you go to extremes to make sure that happens. When you get ready to go out, you make sure that you’re clean, smelling seductive and looking beautiful. This is actually true for both women and men. You’re trying to make an amazing impression on this person so that it may lead to something long term or, maybe even, to marriage.

You may find that this behavior will continue for quite a while as the two of you get to know each other. Then, there comes the first time that you go to his place, or her place. It may be spotless this time or it may resemble the Friends’ episode where Ross was dating a beautiful blonde slob whose apartment was unbelievably filthy.

If you get the filthy apartment first, then at least you’ve been forewarned, and can make your own decision about whether or not to continue. However, if you get the spotless apartment first, it’s totally unexpected to find out that you’ve fallen in love with a slob.

Suppose the person you’re in love with has managed to keep his or her secret until the two of you have moved in together. Suddenly, the cat is very much out of the bag as you find clothes laying all over the floor, dishes all around the kitchen, and garbage that never seems to get taken out. You try to communicate your distaste of this lifestyle but it seems to no avail. So, now what do you do? Should you end the relationship and leave? Is there a way to resolve this and still stay in love?

The first thing you should attempt is talking. This may or may not be an easy task. Typically, slovenly people aren’t all that interested in changing their behavior. Whether it is laziness or being too busy for housework, there’s always something that can be worked out if both people want it.

If talking about the problem doesn’t seem to do the trick, it may be that you’ll need to be responsible for all the housework. While that sounds pretty unfair, and actually IS unfair, it may be the only way to save your relationship. So, if you feel that this person is meant for you, other than the terrible sloppiness and refusal to help you clean up, it’s an option.

One last option can be a bit pricey but will manage to save the relationship and keep you from having to shoulder all the work. You can hire a housekeeper to come in several times a week and do the cleaning. You’ll probably have to pay extra if you want such things as your laundry and dishes done. However, that may just be worth it in order to have a nice, orderly home along with a happy relationship that can be successful.