Will Sex Too Soon Ruin Your Relationship?

The question of just how soon to have sex in a relationship comes up quite often between couples. Typically, it is women that fear having sex too soon can send the men packing because they’ll think the women are loose or too easy. This is not to say that they really DO think that. It just means that a lot of women worry about being labeled as too available whether it is true or not. So they may want to hold off a bit before deciding to have sex with a guy.

On the other hand, if you wait too far in the relationship to have sex you may find that you are totally incompatible with each other. Waiting too long can mean that you are in a relationship where there are emotions involved, only to find out that the sex isn’t going to work at all.

So, then you have a situation where, emotionally, you may be completely in love. Physically, however, there’s either very little or no attraction at all. Usually, being in love makes the physical part of relationships work out no matter what. But there are occasions when it just doesn’t work.

One rule of thumb is that couples can just “tell” when the time is right to finally have sex. This may be true for many couples but it doesn’t work for everyone. It may be that one, or both, partners will have doubts at the last minute as to whether or not it’s the right time to consummate the relationship. One partner may feel the time is perfect while the other one may be seized with a complete panic attack.

The one thing that really shouldn’t happen is for the couple to never have sex before they decide to make their relationship long term. As sex is such a vital part of any romantic relationship, it’s definitely advisable to give things a test run prior to standing before a Justice of the Peace. If you don’t find out about sexual compatibility first, the marriage may not be long for this world. Therefore, you really should have a sexual experience together before committing to “happily ever after.”

While there is a growing sector of people that are choosing to save themselves for marriage, it has yet to be seen if this is the best idea there is. There may be a lot to be said in favor of neither partner having any experience. If they have never been with anyone else they have nothing to compare their current experience to. So it’s very possible that an inexperienced couple can learn together how to please each other. But that often turns out to be the exception instead of the rule.

If you’re in a new relationship and trying to figure out when the right time to have sex is, go by how you feel as well as how your partner feels. It may be a good idea to talk about it together to make sure you’re both on the same page. Whatever you decide, you need to decide it together.