When a relationship ends, or the decision is made to breakup, it can be a very devastating time for one or both partners. This is especially true for couples that have been together for a very long time. That’s not to say that couples don’t feel the pain of a breakup when it’s only been six months or so. It just means that the pain of separation is usually felt much stronger with people that have been connected for years. Things get even worse when one of the partners never saw the end coming.
Something that needs to be considered is that, many times, a breakup can actually make a relationship better and stronger than it’s ever been. While that probably sounds very much like a contradiction in terms, you should think about it seriously for a minute. Granted, this probably isn’t going to be true for new and fledgling relationships, but for the ones that have endured and weathered many storms over the years, breaking up may be just the shot in the arm needed.
Couples that have been together for a long time tend to become rather complacent about their relationship. They start to take each other for granted and just assume that they’ll be together forever. This is also when boredom can start setting in. One of the last things you want in a relationship is boredom because it’s this boredom that breeds such things as cheating.
If your relationship is lacking in the area of excitement, you can bet that the bored partner is going to go looking for something to rev up the libido. Or, at the very least, you’re both vulnerable to succumbing to temptations that are around every day.
Arguing can become more frequent when couples have been together for a long time. There’s not really one single thing that causes the arguments, although, there’s usually an underlying reason that’s not actually being addressed. Therefore, when you’re fighting about who left the toilet seat up or who didn’t squeeze the toothpaste tube the right way, you’re probably dealing with a much deeper issue. When this type of fighting goes on for too long, the ultimate eruption will happen. This usually includes the breakup of the relationship.
Suddenly, what you were fighting about doesn’t seem so important any more. All you feel is that empty void inside left by the disappearing back of your partner going out the door. You may even feel like throwing yourself at him or her, but resist that urge. Instead, don’t do anything right then. Let your partner go.
Now, here’s where a breakup can actually strengthen the relationship. Take some time to really assess your feelings. Then think about all of the things that have led to this moment. While you’re doing this, your partner is most likely doing the same thing. The problem isn’t the lack of love between you. It’s more the lack of maintenance of your relationship.
When you give being apart some time, make a date to sit down and talk. You’ll be amazed at how much better things will be. Even if he or she has a new relationship, talking things through will help you to work through unresolved issues so you can move forward with your life.