When a relationship ends there are several scenarios that can come about. One is that the partner that wanted to breakup moves on, either alone, or to someone else. Another possibility is that the one that did not want the breakup continues to hold out hope that there will be a reconciliation. There’s still another possibility of both parties moving on and remaining friends. Any and all of these scenarios are possible in the wake of a breakup.
Now, say that you have moved on and are now involved with someone that makes you really happy. In fact, BOTH of you are extremely happy in the relationship and you can see it being something important in the future. Things are going along great. Then, suddenly, an ex shows back up for one of you. This can be in the form of a text message, a phone call, email, or even just “accidently” running into you or your partner in a public place. Worse yet, the ex has been “doing some thinking” and has reached the conclusion that there should never have been a breakup and would like to try things again. Now, what do you do?
There are several ways to deal with this situation. First of all, if the ex even means anything to you or your partner at this point, it’s a good time to address just what those feelings are. In a perfect world, for YOU, there will be no residual feelings for the ex and you can simply move on from it. However, rarely does anyone live in a perfect world. So, any feelings that may still be hanging around for the ex should be faced and dealt with.
If it turns out that there are some unresolved feelings for the ex, that’s something that you and your partner are going to need to discuss as openly and honestly as possible. What typically goes through a person’s mind at this point is either: What if I am giving up my last chance at being with my soul mate? Or: Do I love this person I am currently with or was he or she simply a diversion? You really need to answer these questions honestly.
One more thing to consider, though, is the reasons for the breakup. There had to have been something vitally wrong or missing if the relationship didn’t work out in the first place. Absence sometimes has a way of making the heart grow forgetful of all the negativity that was in a relationship. Instead, the rose colored glasses come out and nothing is recalled except the good times in the relationship. You have to make yourself see BOTH sides so that you can accurately analyze the relationship.
Hopefully, you can do this and come to the right decision for yourself and your current relationship. Revisiting the past isn’t always a bad thing, but it does need to be seen as it was; not as you WANT to remember it.